Looking for a new name

Dears readers,

I have a problem: I don’t like peanuts anymore. In case you’ve forgotten, this newsletter is called the Peanut Diaries. And if that wasn’t enough, a lot of my social media presence is under the name “lonelypeanut”. Like my Twitter handle for example. You see, peanuts were a very big part of my life until I got pregnant. Then, suddenly, from one day to the next, the sight of them made me queasy. So yes, we have a problem.

At first, I thought things would go back to normal once the nausea subsided. Indeed, peanuts were not the only foodstuff I recoiled from during the second half of my first trimester. The list was long: tofu, bananas, all varieties of nuts, fried foods, raw vegetables… The list was so long that it sometimes felt like the only food I could reliably turn to were potatoes—and boiled potatoes at that.

But when week 13 finally rolled around and I found myself cutting up a banana to put in my morning cereal, the sight of the jar of peanut butter on the breakfast table was still too much. I covered it with my napkin and pretended it wasn’t there. Thankfully, I soon found out that all other nuts had been rehabilitated to their previous status (the only nut that took a bit longer was the Brazil nut, probably on account of its richness).

So here’s the dilemma: do I wait and see if my aversion to peanuts goes away? I’ve been told there’s a chance things might go back to normal after the birth. But what if they don’t? Assuming I write a newsletter every week until the baby comes, that’s potentially 20 newsletters under a name that makes my stomach turn every time I dwell on it. I think the answer is pretty clear: the name has to go, and so does the tag line, “Life bits from a peanut butter junkie”. But what to replace it with?

I recently had to make up a username for the vegan food app HappyCow. I went with “pintobean” because it feels quite similar to “peanut”, but then what if Tom and I decide to have a second baby and in a cruel turn of events I develop an aversion to beans? First rule: no foodstuffs. So back to the drawing board…

In the meantime, here’s a quick update on the books I’m reading:

  • I just finished Zami by Audre Lorde: I loved it. Her writing is beautiful and raw. She writes about her experience as a black lesbian woman growing up in 40s and 50s America—a lot of pain, but also deep love and joy.

  • Still reading Nine Lies About Work.

  • I’ve joined the waitlist for the French book that’s causing a lot of controversy 😄 Moi les hommes je les déteste.

Stay healthy,

Alicia